Goat Simulator’s MMO Simulator sees the goat cast as some sort of mythical hero whose arrival was foretold in a prophecy, standard stuff, in fact, there’s even several “hero” goats to choose from, each with their own limited skillset. However, what started out as a mode that held some appeal to myself as an RPG fan, quickly turned into an exercise in monotony. Essentially, players are simply thrown into an open world where they can wander around collecting missions from selected inhabitants and completing these to the best of their ability, or as well as the mechanics will allow. Numerous missions involve collecting items which means that the goat’s tongue returns to the fore, replete with all of the issues that blight it in every other mode. There’s an undeveloped levelling system included, so as with all RPGs, the protagonist will progress, well, sort of. As one advances through the levels, nothing significant appears to happen, no new abilities, no additional health or strength - not that this would matter as Billy is a seemingly invincible bleating machine anyway, completing rinse and repeat missions with absolutely no semblance of an end goal in sight. It may provide a slight diversion from the bog standard formula, but it certainly won’t entertain for very long at all, which pretty much sums up the entire package.
Some players will undoubtedly derive some form of entertainment from Goat Simulator, though I don’t know how, but then I’m quite evidently not its target demographic and thankfully, I never will be. It’s plain to see that Coffee Stain Studios has gone out of its way to create a deliberately rubbish game, but that obviously doesn’t change the fact that it’s still just codswallop, pure and simple. I honestly couldn’t imagine being able to recommend this to anyone at the game’s original price on Steam, so how can I possibly advise anyone to pick it up for £20? I can’t.